Current Mood: Bah..!

I have recently been deposited into the very comfortable yet dangerously addictive "unemployed" chair. There suddenly seems to have erupted (from the magical world of Nowhere) a sudden surfiet of time. Mebbe the Gods sneaked in a couple of hours extra when I wasn't looking. The sick bastids never get tired of their silly celestial jokes. ( The biggest joke yet being Michale Jackson).

So here I am sitting and marinating at home and generally vegetating. Apparently I am supposed to be studying for my MA exams. For the uninitiated I am currently pursuing my MA from IGNOU (Yes, because the other universities were IGNOUing me) (That was terrible joke feel free to curse me to Christian Hell). Sat my backside in my backyard this morning and opened the book to read about those fancy fekkers known as Metaphysical Poets. Uncontrollably had to correct the grammar that book presented me with. These are supposed to be the great literati it simms. Bah!

Anyhoo, moving on in life, I'm at a loss (as always) to what the next step must be. Marriage? Bolls I say, let me rephrase that, Horses bolls and fried brinjals!! Still nursing my heart which this one rascal (unwittingly?) tap danced on and later decided to take one of those big butcher kinves and do a keema kabab on. So till I can regrow a new heart like some of those cute reptiles, I think I'll make do with my hallal cut keema kabab heart. {sigh}

What else can one do? Change professions? Thought about it... Nah.... I think I'll just STFU and continue with teaching. Nothing gives me more pleasure than driving the future generation up the wrong wall and putting them all out of their misery. Which brings me to this very nice sticky situation, how do I weasly my way out of this other job offer by a close comrade. Refuse Mary! Say No! like Nancy Regan would have done. {sigh again}

What I would really love is a nice trip to a beach place. In moments of perpetual restlessness it does my last frazled nerve good to see vast expanses of water. Waah waah! Just the thought of it makes me joyful!! (happy happy joy joy) But for that I would require some company. Hopefully a few friends could crawl out of the woodwork and join me.

Till then, Mary says : Time heals all wounds... Time wounds all heels...

Someone you use

This song says volumes...!! Here it is ...

Just a shoulder to cry on

That's all I've been to you

Just someone to rely on

When your world is empty and blue

I'm just someone you call dear

Anytime you choose

I'm just someone you run to

I'm just someone you use

I'm just someone you can talk to

And that's all I'll ever be

Just a clown you can laugh with

Someone to treat you as you need

I'm just a fool you can love on

Any time you choose

I'm just someone you run to

I'm just someone you use

I'm just someone you run to

I'm just someone you use

Don't you know when you need me

My little heart just can't refuse

I'm just someone who loves you, baby

I can't win and I can't lose

I'm just someone you run to

I'm just someone you use

It is because I love and love so deeply

That I know what you say even before you say it. After your showers of words are done I hear the things that you don’t say…

That every waking moment you linger in my mind and every sleeping moment you explore my dreams…

That for every ounce of laughter from your heart; mine multiples with tenfold joy…

That I can cry your unshed tears so that your eyes should never know sadness…

That if you sit next to me I don’t need anything else…

That when you call out my name it rings like a poem in my ear…

That when I watch you sleep I know the silence that blankets you keeps me warm too...

That for each wound that you receive I bleed a lifetime for you...

That your childhood joys become the reasons for my smiles and your sorrows the reason for my tears...

That for each unspoken wish that you might have I have a hundred prayers that follow it...

That I love you for all that you are for all that you will ever be....

It is because I love and love so deeply...

For you... Everything... A thousand times over...

For you... Anything

My Love...

Somewhere someone is thinking of you. Someone is calling you an angel. This person is using celestial colors to paint your image. Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind. Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched. How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concentration as you give pleasure a home. These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now. In some airless apartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street, someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there. So crystalline. So pure. Such life saving powers you have when you smile. You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds. So sad that we will never touch. How it hurts me to know that I will never be able to give you everything I have.

While I waited for you...

Is it me or the shadows that write?
Must my words rhyme just right?

Legs clad in skinny jeans
Flavored smoke and java beans

Communist Manifesto of a farce
Amber eyed junkie high on grass

Iambic pentameter
My rhymes calculator.

Words that amble along
Some sham of a song plays in the background.

Hot coffee now gone cold
A young heart pretends to be old

Crowds of people swarm in
Rock and drugs and sex with women.

Shadows plays of our lives
Low down lows and way up highs...